


It's Anarhichadidae, not Anti-hiccup-daisy

by Sleepless_in_Starbucks



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Logan is easily flustered by hotties who are smarties, M/M, bad teacher, calling out your teacher, fish talk, gay/nervous stuttering, ichthyology, mean teacher, mentions of death via gay, mocking stuttering, moray eels vs wolf eels, only rated teen for swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-08-10 14:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20137186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepless_in_Starbucks/pseuds/Sleepless_in_Starbucks
Summary: Logan's ichthyology teacher is a joke.The boy who just called him on in, however, is the complete opposite.Too bad Logan was going to be dead from Gay Panic within the hour.





	It's Anarhichadidae, not Anti-hiccup-daisy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [VintageSquid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VintageSquid/gifts).

> Basic idea from VintageSquid:  
Virgil who understands being caught off guard by panic and just wants to help the cute boy who defended him earlier during the class discussion   
Logan who would now do anything for the insanely attractive boy he never noticed in the back of the lecture hall before who has more braincells than the entire rest of the class combined

"Okay, class, today we will be talking about a species commonly referred to as Wolf eels. They are of the order Perfect-odds, and the class Anti-hiccup-daisy."

Logan sighed a long, long,  _ long _ suffering sigh as he took his normal seat near the middle of the lecture hall, pulling out his notebook and pen more for appearances than anything. It wasn't like he'd actually be learning anything worth writing down.

When Logan had started the class at the start of the year, he had been excited. His interest in biology was only amplified by the marine aspect. So it was understandable that ichthyology would intrigue him.

Of course, that had been before he learned his teacher was an absolute fool who could neither pronounce any scientific word nor produce any valid scientific information.

Logan had used to fight him, back at the beginning of the year when he hadn't yet been crushed by the homework of other classes and he was, dare he say, optimistic for a chance to actually learn something from that class. Now, the only reason he didn't drop it was because it was an easy credit and essentially an hour of free time- an hour he needed from the work that was cutting into his sleep from his  _ actual _ classes.

With the first sentence out of his mouth today being so horribly butchered, Logan was sure he could actually sleep through the class without missing out on anything.

As was, the words were already mostly a drone going in one ear and out the other as Logan mentally studied for the test in his next class. He was pointlessly coming in and out of the conversation, rating the stupidity of the comments when he felt he needed a break.

It was roughly half an hour into class when he paid attention again only to hear the gem that was, "Wolf eels are, in fact, closely related to Moray eels. The were forced out of their shared habitat by lack of resources, creating the slight differences in appearance."

Logan tried not to audibly snort. Who gave this man a teaching degree?

Already slipping back into his mental notes, Logan was pulled roughly out of his thoughts by the yell that came from the back of the classroom:

"Bullshit."

The entire class swiveled in their seats, trying to find who had just loudly cussed at the teacher.

At first, Logan couldn't find him, too many heads for him to pick the source of the call (especially since he hadn't exchanged so much as five words with anyone in the class).

"I beg your pardon?" The teacher asked, sounding as startled as his class. Logan was able to locate the student, then, when he responded once more,

"I said bullshit, sir." The student answered, leaning back in his chair and tugging at the sleeves of his patched up hoodie. "I can say it a third time if you'd like me too, but I don't think I'll ever actually say it enough to sum up how much of it you're spewing."

While the class around him collectively hushed in an awed sort of quiet, Logan focused on the hoodie-wearing student. They were a few rows away, but it didn't stop him from noticing the other's black fingernails, his purposefully smudged eyeshadow, the fading purple in his floof of hair, how his pale skin seemed to very well bring out what Logan would have guessed were copper brown eyes-

Logan shook his head and forced himself to look forwards again, back towards the offended teacher, feeling his cheeks already heating up like they were going to be stars.

So it seemed the only other kid in the class with a brain may be a little pretty. Logan would decide how he felt about that in a moment.

Luckily for him, he was able to shift his attention back to the newly emerged fight when the teacher finally got past making frustrated noises and responded with, "I'm afraid I don't quite understand what you're trying to say."

The student blinked, almost seeming to be in genuine confusion. "I thought I made it pretty clear. Everything you're saying? Bullshit. Lies. Slander. Non-facts. Whatever you want to call them."

"And who exactly are you, Mr...?"

"Virgil."

"Mr. Virgil, who do you think you are to challenge your  _ teacher _ in how they teach their class?"

Virgil scratched at the back of his neck nonchalantly. "I think I'm right."

"Oh, really?" The teacher asked, sounding much too cocky for a man who probably couldn't tell a clownfish from a great white. "Care to enlighten us as to just how right you are, then?"

"Love to." Virgil responded, catching the teacher slightly off guard as he started tapping his pencil on his notebook. "What you said is about as right as saying a human is at all related to a screw." He paused for a second to smirk. "Well, the average human anyways. Screw-brains like you are exceptions."

Teacher spluttered out loud, Logan mentally spluttered in gay, and Virgil continued even more confidentially,

"Wolf eels and Moray eels look similar due to convergent evolution, a concept normally taught in high school so I don't know how you made it to college without grasping that concept. They're even different orders- real eels being Anguilliformes, though considering I've heard you struggle to say dandelion I'm not surprised you tried to skip the extra name."

"That'll be quite enough, Mr. Virgil." The teacher ordered, Virgil pausing with an eyebrow raised in a mix of curiosity and amusement. Logan tried not to feel too annoyed by the way his heart skipped angrily, wanting to hear more of the student's coarse and sarcastic tone.

While Logan lamented the silence, the teacher continued, "Now. Does anyone agree with Mr. Virgil's rather outlandish theories, or can we continue with some actual teaching?"

For a second, no one spoke up. Logan knew for a fact that most of the kids in the class either agreed with the teacher or were taking the class for the credits alone. They wouldn't have any reason to speak up. Most days, Logan wouldn't either.

But right before the teacher could smile, self-satisfied, Logan blurted out (much less professionally than he'd like to admit), "I do."

The teacher turned his attention onto Logan, but he didn't care about that so much as he did the shift he noticed out of the corner of his eye from Virgil. He was staring at him. Logan pretended that wasn't the reason his next sentence came out as, "He-he's quite right, actually. You're the on-only one spewing nonsense here."

"Oh, am I?" The teacher asked, crossing his arms and looking extremely smug as he continued, "Please, why don't you take a turn doing my job?"

Logan glanced back at Virgil quickly, spurred by an instinct he didn't even know he had, finding the other student tilting his head slightly and- dammit it was possible for him to be even more attractive?

Logan turned his gaze back at the teacher again, who's smug grin had only grown, and he forced himself to meet his eyes, happy to see a spark of doubt in them.

"Why not?" He asked, ignoring the still very much existing tremble in his voice that only grew when he let his thoughts wander back towards the boy in back (so constantly). "I-I'm clearly more qualified."

The teacher looked thoroughly shocked at the blatant implication, and Logan used the slight rush of satisfaction he got from that expression to push on. "What Vir- Vir-" He cleared his throat and gave up at trying to get the  <strike> pretty </strike> student's name out of his mouth. "What has already been stated by any- anyone in this class who  _ is _ \-  _ isn't _ you is ac-acc-accurate." Logan internally cursed as he stumbled over even the simplest of words. "Mo-moray eels and Wolf eels a-are, in fact, not even clo-clo- remotely related."

"Repeating what others have said does not make you an expert on anything." The teacher said mockingly, before adding, "Especially when you seem to barely be able to say it."

Logan ground his teeth. "You want some 'new' facts?" He spat out. "You earlier called Wolf eels extremely vic-vic- mean creatures, I can only as-assume based on its name alone, which is just ig-igno-  _ stupid _ given how gentle they often are."

"You can't-"

"They often grow ei-eight feet long, unlike the eight  _ inch _ length you assigned them." Logan pushed on, ignoring his teacher's attempts to break in. "I'm not quite s-sure how you got seaweed from ur-urchins, crabs, and mol-mollus- not seaweed for their prim-primary food source but that's pr-pretty wrong , too. And as bro-brought up before you can't even pro-prono-  _ say _ their sci-scient- proper class and order names!"

"Like you can?" The teacher fired back, and if it weren't for the gay distraction a few feet behind him Logan would have said them backwards three times in a row just to prove his point. As it stood, however, he was ready to simply glare the look of the teacher's face.

"Order of Perciformes and class of Anarhichadidae." Virgil spoke up again, the words rolling off his tongue like they were cat and dog. "Order for true eels would be Anguilliformes if you want that one again."

"I wasn't speaking to you."

"What?" Virgil asked, feigning innocence. "I'm just another lowly student in this class. If I can say it, you should be able to say it."

The teacher fumed more, and Logan risked another glance back at Virgil. This time, the other student caught his stare and  _ winked _ at him with a stupid, cocky little smile.

That was it. Logan was never speaking again. If he thought he was stumbling over his words when he was blushing he didn't want to find out what would happen when his cheeks were literally on fire and he felt very slightly dizzy, somehow in a good way.

If he wasn't still trying to look vaguely respectful in defiance of his teacher, he would have just laid down and screamed into the desk.

"Well, then." The teacher said, barely contained anger in his tone as he pulled Logan's attention away from the important thoughts of 'does Ultra Gay exits because if so I am  _ it _ .' "Since it's clear the two of you are more interested in disrupting my class than actually learning, I'm going to have to ask you both to leave."

"Wicked." Virgil replied immediately, once more catching the teacher off-guard as he stood up and pulled his backpack over his shoulder, shoving his book and pen into it in one fluid motion as he headed for the door.

Logan berated himself as he got up much less coordinately- not because he cared much for staying in class, but because he was about to leave it with the source of his current Gay Panic. He started to put the notebook away, trying not to bend the edges and failing miserably. He probably looked like a mess- an assessment that would not be totally untrue.

It didn't help when a second later someone was taking the book from him and actually getting it into the backpack, dropping what Logan recognized what his pen in as well before zipping it up and offering it to Logan. Logan took it, glancing up to see who was helping him, and immediately regretting it when he realized it was Virgil, expression extremely gentle as he more or less helped to pull Logan out of the classroom.

Logan wondered if his entire face was red yet.

Logan managed to at least somewhat come back to himself as he heard the classroom door shut, focusing on not tugging at his hair as he adjusted his grip on his backpack instead. He expected Virgil to head off on his way now that they were both out, but to Logan's mixed mortification and delight, he remained standing in front of Logan.

"You good, bro?" He asked, sounding more withdrawn now that he wasn't correcting their idiot of a teacher. But it was still the same voice, so Logan was still trying to not simply pass out from gay (something he used to not believe was possible- he used to be a foolish, foolish man). "You seem a little shaky."

If he had been talking to anyone else, Logan would have scoffed and answered sarcastically. As it all stood, Logan was lucky to have choked out, "Yeah" without a stutter.

Virgil nodded, not looking fully convinced but pressing on anyways. "Uh, thanks for helping back in class there. I know most kids in there don't give two fucks about the material. Hell, I normally don't stand up about it either, but he was going after  _ eels _ man. They're like the snakes of the sea. Not cool." He said, chuckling lightly.

"Yeah." Came Logan's extremely smart and well put together reply.

Virgil raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you're good? You seem a little... spaced out."

"Ye- I mean," Logan cleared his throat, shaking the one word his mouth seemed willing to work with him, "I'm fine."

"Sure. Listen..." Virgil trailed off. "Oh, uh, don't think I've got your name."

"It's Logay. I mean!" Logan nearly punched himself for that one. "Logan. It's Lo _ gan _ ."

Virgil, however, seemed only amused by the slip. "Logan. Got it. Listen, Logan, we've got another twenty minutes before the next class starts, and I assume nothing important to do."

"Yes...?" Logan said hesitantly, confused as to where exactly Virgil was heading.

Then Virgil smiled and Logan's heart skipped a few dozen beats. "Wanna go waste some time at the coffee shop down the street? We can discuss some actual fish facts if you'd like."

Logan didn't respond, too busy short-circuiting. To be totally accurate, actually, he was having a complete system shutdown, the only thing being processed being that sentence and absolutely nothing else.

He blinked in shock when Virgil snapped his fingers in his face, looking a mix of cheerful and worried. "Uh, earth to Logan. You sure you-"

"Yes." Logan responded, very much delayed, before shaking his head as if to clear it. "Um, yes, I'd like to g-go waste time wi-with you."

Virgil's smile grew. "Nice." He said before grabbing Logan's wrist, starting to tug him towards the shop. Logan dearly hoped that Virgil was, alongside smart, beautiful, and absolutely wonderful, strong, because he was pretty sure his legs could no longer be trusted to support him as he more or less tumbled down the hall behind Virgil.

Virgil briefly glanced back, making sure Logan wasn't completely dead weight, still smiling. Despite the complete lack of control over his body (or perhaps because of it), Logan managed what must have seemed to be a drunk smile back at him, holding onto it even after Virgil looked forward once more.

So maybe he was going to have a heart attack caused directly by gayness the minute Virgil left to continue on with his day. He couldn't think of a better way to spend the last twenty minutes of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr: https://sleepless-in-starbucks.tumblr.com/


End file.
